I love curry. So do my kids. Unfortunately it stains so my daughter now thinks she's supposed to eat topless.
The easiest way to do it is get a jar of Patak's and follow the directions. Where is says ghee or butter substitute oil. I usually use olive for the health benefits but safflower is very lightly flavored. When it says "double cream" use coconut milk, the stuff in the Asian food section, not the refridgerator section. Our fridge kind has soy. Our canned kind does not. When my sweet tooth kicks in I use the Goya cream of coconut.
They make what seems like 30 kinds of curry paste and I only have access to five so I can't vouch for all their products but most of what I've laid hands on is soy and dairy free. The cooking sauce is not OK. It's premixed with all the stuff to make my baby boy sick.
I serve this with homemade flatbread or basmati rice.